The instant Magema's finger brushed the jagged folded edges she knew what had been planted. The surprise had her heart flutter. From the depths of her pocket she retrieved both her headphones, and a balled piece of paper. It had been so long since the last time, she'd wondered if the run of little notes may have finally come to their end.
A small gust of wind tossed strands of her exposed hair hanging from outside of her toque and she cupped the paper so as not to lose it while it sat cradled within her palm. The sounds of the street faded, and her eyes welled as she stared at the tiny kindness. At this point it mattered not what the little note had to say. She'd read so many over the years, and as gorgeous as the words were, to some degree they were irrelevant. No matter the order, or length, they all said the same thing. How much her Able adored her.
The crumbled ball was his way of teasing her. The creases bending the messages, disguising their hidden sweetness. A dash of suffering for the sentiment. It wasn't that he couldn't make it as perfect and orderly as she'd prefer. Able knew her well enough to know how to make things almost flawless, but couldn't help from shying away from the standards. Fluent in the actions, or lack of, that would be mild irritants to his wife, but no real bother. What made things worse was she knew that he knew that not only would he get away with his tricks, but because he knew her so well, the things she loved, and hated, that it made the note unscalabley better. That somehow by bugging her he was expressing a deeper love. Showing a profound knowing of who she was.
She glowed, palmed the note, looked at her watch, and rushed down the sidewalk. Magema still had time before her appointments, and the errands that she hoped to finish could wait. The mountain of tasks would remain ever unscalable. It was a moment to surrender. Taking time out to sit with herself, to embrace the thoughtful gesture, would be a kindness to Able. As well as he saw her, Magema knew him. Her husband never asked for much, but to find out that she'd taken pause to sit with his message, somewhere cozy, and sipped something delicious, that his kindness instigated further care for her, that's how he'd want the love to reciprocate.
A pungent aroma of coffee beans, steamed milks, lo-fi beats, happy conversation, and waves of heat from cranked radiators cascaded over her as she entered a little cafe. Magema indulged and added a large chocolate cookie to pair with her latte. Brew in hand she found a large, overstuffed chair by a window, took a sip, and brought the note to light.
With care her fingertips unfolded the delicate, bundled mess. A lack of patience had torn notes in the past. As the first corner bent, Magema's mind returned to the little letter's beginnings. Tight, clean, sharp folds, her Able used to take his time, and pour attention into the finest details. A poem, a thought, often quoted from others, quickly evolved to his own sentiments. Found tucked as bookmarks in the novels she was reading, slipped between the flashcards as she studied. The first dozen ended with a little drawn heart beside his initial before they'd confessed those three binding words to each other.
Sticky notes became a revelation for the young romantic. When they'd finally moved in together little i loves yous were everywhere. Decorating mirrors, doors, tumbling out of cereal boxes, dropping onto her lap from the visor above her windshield, slipped in front of her drivers license in her wallet. Her fingernail peeled the ball open further and a familiar haunting worry whispered from the past, "how many have i missed?" What confessions, and adorations had slipped past unnoticed. Able'd only shrugged when she'd raised her concerns in the years prior, confessing that there'd be so many made it was hard to tell what had been found, or not. He'd held her close and reminded her that they all said the same thing, that the message was always one of love, and so long as she never forgot that, nor doubted his feelings, than even the lost letters would be heard.
Able's proposal hadn't been long into their courting, years earlier than she'd expected, especially considering their age and the studies that loomed ahead of her. Magema's eyes welled, and she twisted her wedding ring remembering. The memory swept. How he'd called to her from their kitchen, the house smelling rich, and garlicky. Her stomach roared after a day in the library and a frigid journey home. She hadn't made it in far enough to greet him before Able requested a bottle of wine he'd left at the door. Magema's hands clasped the red's neck and she carried it in. Her favourite meal simmering, her love flurrying about. Able tossed an apron around her neck, and tied a bow behind her back as he planted a kiss. "Here, pop that open, we're just about ready."
It dawned on her how peculiar it was that she could remember so many microseconds leading up to the moment, but so few after. The wooden spoon above the boiling pot, the stream, the timer of their oven going off, the feeling of the handle and sound of the drawer rolling open as she found the wine opener. So detailed, so refined, and yet, couldn't clock the signs around her. The tip of the corkscrew punctured the cork as she began twisting, yammering away about some irrelevant irritations with her classmates, while Able kept asking her if he'd got the right bottle. She'd brushed off the question at first, annoyed with the interruption before she conceded and looked to the label, one that had been covered with a pink note, and five words in Able's familiar scrawl.
'i can't wait another minute'
Her eyebrows contorted in confusion, she looked over and found him not stirring at the stove top, but kneeling before her. Magema's heart stopped, her mind in tow. "Check the pocket," his whispers were as loud in memory as they were then.
The weight of the tiny box hadn't registered, nor had the candles around the living room, or their song looping on the stereo. She hadn't known what she'd expect this moment to look like, but certainly that it wouldn't happen so soon. Her vision blurred, her hand hadn't even raised from the pocket before her Able called her name, and placed his hand on hers. Their fingers together as he opened the box's clasp and showed her the ring. Modest, custom, thoughtful, what it lacked in precious stones, it made up for in care. Able's essence was all over the band, so was hers, it was them, cast together.
"i may not be able to give you the lavish riches you well deserve, but i can promise smiles. Of those, i'll give you everything, my everything. i want to spend forever with you Magema, and i don't want to waste another second waiting for it. Make me yours."
Beyond the feeling of metal sliding over her finger- the kiss, the meal, what was burnt, how they danced, the rest of the night, it moved like a dream. As much as it felt profound, and other worldly, it felt so normal it was sobering. Like it was somehow simply supposed to be, fated.
Caffeine cut across her palette, Magema wiped a fond tear she hadn't realized had been shed. A nervous scan across the cafe confirmed it hadn't been observed and she looked back to the crumbled note.
'The right words are always hard to find. i wish this had as much poetry as i see in your eyes. That i could convey how much i cherish you, how my love is the same i had since the moment we met, since the moment we said those words. That as much as it hasn't changed it's evolved more than i can comprehend. Or, in full contradiction perhaps not. It's always felt boundless, inconceivable, maybe its enormity simply overwhelms my waking moments so much so that everything feels new. i'm losing myself here, trying too hard. If only somehow, some way, i could both convey that impossible to describe love i have for you, and have you feel the same way about me, even for a split second, oh, i should want for nothing more. Alas this crumbled wad of nonsense will have to do, but rest assured, i won't stop trying. i adore you,’
-your Able
Stupid tears scalded as she grabbed her coffee and looked back to the light while she tried to catch her breath. Magema thought of their children, she thought of their life. She never imagined she'd ever be so lucky, and couldn't believe this moment was just part of another regular Wednesday afternoon.
Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to dig deeper into the lives of the The Haés
-Mr. Write