A crackle from the PA cut through the electric energy of the terminal. Calls to board weaved between optimistic travellers and stressed businessmen, dancing through their rolling luggage, backpacks, and overfilled purses. Lumi sat watching it all, laptop warming her thighs, the keys cool to touch. She struggled to find the words, and tapped her boarding pass against her passport. Its incessant rhythm echoed her anxiety back to the void.
She checked her watch and glanced over her shoulder to the digital departure list. The flight was soon. Her trip had come fast, faster than a few would have liked. The old world called and an excited Lumi answered. She looked back at her screen, the cursor blinking within the unfinished letter. A jigsaw of half-finished sentences, and pleas taunted her. Another jarring announcement called the next group to board.
Lumi took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and let her mind race to the waiting sands and the sunshine. Imagined exotic spices dusting cities that lived like historical libraries. Places she longed to visit since she was a child. The unfathomable thousands of miles between them now measured by mere hours.
Guilt pulled and plucked at her joy, yarning her excited heart backwards. Minor chords tuned her mind to a bitter sweet haze. Nerves ran to shaking fingers, they shot from the askew letters to the comfort of her hair. Nothing soothed. No twirl, no comb. Her gaze moved to the planes outside the window, coming and going from the runway and the beyond.
The polished glass ran from floor to ceiling, and in its reflection she saw herself. Her empathic heart hurt for the lone figure. Lumi looked down again to the letter and retraced her guilt. She raised the emotion up to the light, and turned the coin over. On the underside housed a deep, lonely sorrow. The figure a swimmer in a sea of sad.
A final boarding call sang, and she slammed her laptop shut, the letter left unfinished. As she stood she raised the volume in her headphones, and drowned out the babble. She played her favourite tortured poet, and moved to her place in line. Her mind sauntered between the stanzas, metaphors, and entendres. The nervous currents wouldn't settle. Joy and guilt circled and stabbed. Lumi double checked she had her passport flipped to the appropriate page, and fussed over the contents of her pockets as she moved forth, shuffling along with the herd.
In the queue she continued to search for sentences to fill her letter. A complex webbed weighted by the overbearing melancholy. Another step. A large man moved, and the light from the jetway welcomed. The gate agent smiled as she swiped Lumi’s passport. The computer beeped. She strode through the threshold, on the ramp to the waiting craft and felt the shift.
Each footstep sounded out the words of affirmation her soul needed. No use to her note, they served to stitch her broken heart. She cradled herself from the neglect she felt but dared not acknowledge. In truth Lumi knew she'd contributed little to the sadness she carried. She'd been pushed away as much as she'd packed. She didn't have the company that she longed for, those she'd asked to join her journey forth, instead sat home, stewing in resentment.
She'd held her lonely cries for years. Nurtured others instead of herself. The walkway carried her like a current to the border of the plane. Between the craft and airport was a small gap of light. Lumi didn't hesitate as she crossed the final border. She passed smiling stewards, gave a small bow of gratitude. Time was short, and she would no longer foster regret, pain, or shame. It was her life to live, her passage from the beyond and back. She would continue to move with integrity. She would ripple love from a love of self. Those that could match were welcome to join, the others would have watch from afar. With her bag placed in the overhead compartment, she slid to her seat, buckled, looked to the heavens, and beamed back.
As she nestled in Lumi thought to retrieve the laptop from her bag, and let the idea go. Instead, she reached for an inflight magazine, and looked forward to the films featured on the flight.
Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out the previous 12 part collection of Zoditraxx, and consider the other side of subtle dualities.
-Mr. Write
PS: Be sure to check out Exaggerated Shadow’s new release for Scorpeedos Away! on all your favourite streaming platforms!