Shrill little voices began to amplify and exasperate each other until an argument over the television cascaded over the entire house. Bunkered in the kitchen Able and Magema drowned in their children's whines. With her elbows on the table Magema folded to a prayer position, her fingers laced around her eyes, masking the light. Able placed an empathetic hand on her shoulder as he stood behind her. The agony dancing around her temples was beyond description as her migraine escalated. It felt as if God herself was peeling the edges of Magema's brain, trying to invert it inside out whilst carving the layers in jagged slivers of sashimi with a rusty saw.
Able rounded the counter, filled their kettle and returned beside his wife. His hands blanketed her back, and applied a gentle pressure. He traced her spine with a thumb and felt Magema's muscles ease under his palm. In a soft voice Able brought up a conversation that they'd been having off and on for the last year regarding the children's relationship to their gaming systems, devices, and television. "You know, i think we should get ahead of the curve here. For everyone's sake. The kids need boundaries. We need to make sure we're minding how they’re spending their time before things become too habitual, and perhaps," he leaned close to her ear "as an added bonus we might find a bit of relief, a little peace."
Water boiled while Magema rolled thoughts through her foggy mind. The kettle clicked, tea was fetched, and together they brainstormed. What was fair, practical, and fun. While video games weren't the most ideal way for their children to spend their hours, they understood the devices weren't without merit. Hand eye coordination, real time problem solving, group cooperation, critical thinking, a way to unwind, the facts didn't escape the concerned parents nor did a biting sense of irony knowing that they didn't mind playing on occasion themselves. Rationalizing didn't halt their worry. The pair wanted to make sure their children weren't dictated by the systems, or addicted to the ease of distraction.
From behind her palms Magema mentioned she'd found a storage device with a timer online. Before she could get her full thought out, an impatient scream from Charlie called to the parents. Emanuella stormed into the kitchen on heels of the outburst, her hands in furious flurry. Able gave Magema a look that both paused their conversation and assured her that he'd handle it. He scooped his protesting daughter under his arm and carried her off to handle the situation.
Late in the night their conversation continued. Balanced on their pillows Able scribbled away Magema's ideas. After a few twilight hours rolled, they'd defined rules to guide their children, and constructed a game.
After dinner the following day they marched the kids back into the living room where Magema presented a small safe with a timer. The children eyed the cold box with venomous suspicion. "Ok," Magema clapped her hands together, "Things have been getting a little out of control here regarding our 'TV time.' And rather than punishing, or cutting gaming privileges off until you're older, your father and i have come up with a new game. It might be a little frustrating at first, but you've gotta trust that we've done our best to come up with a fair system. And nothing is final, we'll see how things work and flow, and in time adjust. But for now, we're going to start playing together as a family."
"That's right," Able chimed in. "Don't worry. There will be special occasions, and a lot of fun had. But, we're going to make sure none of us become zombies to our screens. Your mum and i have become a little worried that these devices are consuming everyone- us included. Plus, all the fighting team, it has to stop. We have some ground rules. But i do want to remind you that this is all about play, and you'll find it's better if you're kinder to each other. There are even ways to get extra time if you work together." He nodded to Magema, "Ok so heres the game."
Like a game show host Magema's hands directed their attention back to the safe. A timer on the outside began to count down. "At 7 pm, this will open, and everyone can spend forty-five minutes doing whatever they like." A nursery rhyme chimed, as the alarm zeroed out. The lock clicked and Magema opened the door to showcase what had been hidden. Inside sat television remotes, tablets, and gaming controllers.
An outcry of questions erupted from the little audience. Able hushed the children reminding them not much had changed, there already were conditions on how much screen time was available. The difference is a more defined system. "Your mother and i have written the rules clearly on the side of the safe, so, you can all figure things out." Able let the words sit before he continued. "Ok, let's talk about hacks. Let's say you all decide to watch the same movie together. That's fine, you're combining your screen time, and you can watch the whole film with no interruptions. Or if you play a game together you can share a full hour, or ninety whole minutes if it includes all three. But you can't stack your time chunks or hover during someone else's turn. Either it's forty-five minutes alone, sixty for two, or ninety or a whole film for all three. If only one of you can use the object, and someone volunteers to wait until later, then the patient one gets an extra fifteen minutes. If there's an argument over who gets the extra time or who gets to go first, it will be settled with rock, paper, scissors, and there will be no extra 15 minutes. If it becomes a consistent issue, you'll have to figure out a fair system, trading extended days, or the device will be removed for a week or so. You can work together and game the system. You can also defer your time to another day, so long as you're not hogging a device for someone's hour. So, for example, let's say you're caught up in a really good book, or off with friends at the park, doing a puzzle, playing music, anything away from the devices and don't need it, then that 45 minutes can be saved until the next day. You can only bank a maximum of 2 hours to be used in a single day, so that's a bit less than 3 days worth. However, if you avoid the devices for a whole week you can earn yourself a self care day where you pretty much have free range over a device. No one else can hang around and loiter, your space has to be respected. There can be no complaining. If more than one of you wants to have the same extended day we expect you to work that out ahead of time. If you're not communicating and compromising then both parties are at fault and the bonus time will be null and void. It may be wise to wait an extra day to enjoy your full time by yourself, or choose to play together. The game is tough, but fair is fair."
Magema dropped to her haunches, and let her eyes twinkle. "So i have a secret to share." The kids leaned close, "There are other ways around this. You see, when i was a young girl, i learned to time travel. You heard me right," the sage mother's eyes dared her kin's counters. "Now, is this real time travel?" she stood again, her movement more animated and excited. "Like in the movies? Absolutely not, no. But can you speed things up? Definitely." She paused to let the concept sink. "If you stop watching the clock, and bury yourself in your tasks you can move things forward. Diving into a book, playing music, doing your chores or homework, there's lots of entrances. But you have to commit, you have to focus. The more you tune in, the more you'll lose yourself and speed up time. i used to do this when i worked at the supermarket when i was a teenager. Rather than try and slack off, and work as little as possible until my shift ended, i'd do the opposite. i'd take on more tasks, i'd help as many customers as possible. The more i engaged, and this is the most important part, and the more i avoided looking at the clock the quicker my shifts ended. But if you see the time," a finger tsk'd a warning 'no' at the thought, "then the spell is broken. It's not perfect. It won't always work. Sometimes things will get boring, but your father and i can't encourage you enough to try. Find things. Talk to each other. Hang out with your father and i. Use your imagination. Get ahead. Take on chores. Is this a little self-serving to us? Yes," Magema's shameless admission made her husband chuckle. "For sure, i could see how you'd see it that way and you're not entirely wrong. But we really do, just love you. We want your minds to grow. We want you to connect with each other, and your friends, to push your boundaries, to try new things. Invent games, play cards. Draw, write, stretch. Ask us for help. And if you've done all you can think of, homework, played, read some, finished chores, and the 'time travel' just isn't working, that's ok. We can talk. Your Dad or i, will occasionally, when it's warranted, and you've tried your best, we'll give you a pass every now and again. But you have to be honest, have to have put in a good effort, and say, 'i'm struggling, i've done my best.' Show us, and we'll see. We're not trying to be unreasonable or torture you. But let me warn you all. If we feel taken advantage of, or it's happening too often, we'll stop saying yes. So keep each other in check, you don't want to ruin things for the others. We want you to be able to create you your own joy before plugging in to some predetermined fun, and-"
"This doesn't make sense," Charlie sang, her volume cutting Magema off.
Without reacting Magema shifted closer to her daughter. "Ok, which part," she cooed.
"Uh, time travel??" The defiant words were spat, dripping in sarcasm and doubt. "We don't have a machine, and that's crazy, time travel isn't real."
Able crossed his arms and shot a look to his wife. "Right," she opened her posture, "You're right. Objectively, time travel does not exist. Remember how i started? This is more of a thought experiment, and trust me, it does work," Magema looked to Able for support, who was quick to voice his agreeance. She continued, "Ok, so, how can we ever, really, experience the past? We can't, right? It's just in our imaginations." The children nodded, and followed along watching her dancing hands as Magema did her best to keep Emmanuella in the loop, her signing vocabulary stretched thin trying to express the strange philosophies. "Same as the future, right? Pretty much everything, if we're to hold this perspective, is held in our head. Except for the right now. But, you know that old saying? 'Time flies when you're having fun?' i know that you know what i'm talking about because i see it on your little faces when your Dad and i tell you it’s time for bed and you're oh so surprised!" On the tail of her sentence Magema leered forward tickling at the captivated kids, joined them on the couch, and scooped wiggling Jeffry to her lap. When they'd calmed and caught their breath she continued. "So essentially, we are really slipping from one now, to the next. We lose ourselves in an activity and resurface to another 'time.' Oh! Ok another example, how about when we sleep right? Sometimes, it feels like we close our eyes for a second, and open them to a brand new day. Sometimes we feel different, groggy, rested, maybe a little surprised. We've leapt forward. We may have had a silly dream, but even then, what is that? Sure, it's not as cool, romantic, or as magick as a machine, but again, that's perspective and opinion. i think it's even cooler." She snapped, and tied in another lesson. "This is why you see your father and i sitting quiet, and meditating. That makes our experience of time stronger, and deeper. We are practicing focusing and unfocusing our attention."
The kids groaned, annoyed about her constant instance of meditation. It was the Haés' preferred form of discipline, meditation with rolling focused timers as opposed to time outs and grounding. Frustrating only because it was mandated, not because it was unenjoyable.
"Ok, ok," Able jumped in, "We're almost done, and this is a good time to practice. Keep focused and this will all slip quicker than you think. Or if you want you can try to fight it, distract yourself but that'll have the opposite effect. The faster you want time to move the more you have to accept its pace, it acts in opposites. You have to pretend that you don't want time to move, that you want to keep doing whatever you're doing, that's when it disappears. So, this is a great opportunity. Do as you will, the choices are yours, we're only showing you tools."
Emmanuella smiled, Jeffry squirmed. Magema rustled their hair, "well, on that note, notice how well everyone listened?" They looked to her, and she opened her arms. "We're all done! We start tomorrow, in the meantime, whomever does the dishes gets to choose a movie for us all tonight." The kids eye's expanded, and Magema's voice toyed, revving their excitement like an engine, "Ready, one... two..."
Emmanuella was already gone, Charlie at her heels, Jeff, complaining, struggling to get away from his mother, and his parents pleased laughter.
Thanks for reading!
Be sure to check out the rest of the Haés adventures!
-Mr. Write