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Nostalgia, a curse. Its seductive whisper a sweet siren singing victims to drown in the freezing depths of illusions of pasts that never existed. Those misunderstood melodies plagued me as a teenager. They convinced me i was born in the wrong decade, left me longing for eras of freedom, morals, simplicity, wonder, and hope. The Road called to me. Its communications riddled in the films i watched, music i listened to, and books i read. Be it On the Road, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Even Cowgirls get the Blues, Dharma Bums, Into the Wild, the messages were everywhere. It wasn't a wind, or a destination, but a path, and it beckoned. Distant destinies drawn across maps seemed so tangible, but flights, and buses, financially unviable. i'd stay up late torturing myself with fantasies of foreign breezes coursing through my hair as i barrelled across lands unknown. To the point where i'd suffer genuine pangs of envious pain when i watched characters throw their thumbs to highways like fisherman lures, and jump into halting vehicles headed in the same direction. Why wasn't it me?
There are few moments in my life that have ever felt as free or blissful as riding in the back of a flatbed pickup truck. Joining a stranger as they headed West down highway's i couldn't name, let alone pronounce. Free to watch the country roll from hills to mountains, dawn to dusk, deserts to ocean coasts, welcome to read if i could hold the pages down. The Sun shining, wearing smiles instead of sunscreen, my headphones on, the volume up, enveloped in human kindness, and adventure.
i don't know where to start when talking about my favourite things about hitchhiking. There's nothing that compares. Beyond a form of transportation, for me, it's both a philosophy, and a joyous lifestyle that reflects my values. At balance with chaos and order. A blind dance with the fates.
Hitchhiking requires you to be present, both in, and outside of cars. Making eye contact with drivers as they go by, smiling, paying attention to dangers (erratic road behaviour, malicious cues, questions, or tones), where you are in regards to your destination, conversation, weather patterns, and, most important, your own intuition. It's not like choosing a charter, train, or plane, there are no certainties. Embracing the chaotic randomness that comes with the journey will only benefit you. Even the potential that no lifts may come. The whole experience is a mixed bag, one that tries at your patience, faith, and optimism. It's imperative to let go of the disappointment that comes when possible rides pass, or the kind souls that stop, but aren't continuing in your direction. Change that energy into a smile and keep your thumb up. You have to lean into the positive, to bring your best to whomever takes you, no matter if you've been waiting hours in the blistering sun, or biting cold.
It doesn't matter what country i'm in, i always hitch. The price of other modes of transit are irrelevant, i want to meet the people. i want the conversation, even if it's strained, and rife with difficult language barriers. The genuine excitement, and pride folks have when they share is infectious, and addictive. Be it local radio stations, national artists, pointing at special species of trees or animals, stopping to try local delicacies from street vendors, more than a joy, it's an honour to experience both through their eyes, and right beside them. Conversations in countries with oppressive governments are particularly interesting. Citizens dance around ideas, and speak the truth in veiled sentences. Watching the relief that comes from being able to say things outright, to someone safe with an open ear, is a privilege. Walls come down, people feel free, perspectives are shown. Extensions and interactions between human beings that are told they're worlds apart from one another become normal, and a constant reminder of how small our differences are. It's good for them, good for me, and great for humanity as a whole.
Hitchhiking is a philosophy of people moving in the same direction, where strangers join forces, and subtract one less vehicle from the road. The environmental impact, of lack there of, is an endearing consequence of the act. While a single ride may not make a huge impact, every well intended small footprint is another step forward. Should trains, and affordable collective transportation be the norm? Without a doubt, but while we live in a highly individualized society, this is progress. A nice reminder that strangers working together causes change, and that our actions in the micro ripple to macro.
It's such a simple, beautiful sentiment, 'i'm going this way, tag along, or don't.' While i do feel like there does need to be some form of exchange, be it pleasantries, an ear, a conversation, entertainment, it's nice that it's outside financial expectations. It's not trying to be cheap or take advantage, but a testament to the intention and purity of the experience. Another shift outside of the monetary tunnel vision that blinds the world. That we are human beings, not customers, nor mindless consumers, but travellers, here on this Earth for a short time, walking each other home.
The combination of two simple ingredients, a road and thumb, create an exponential amount of varied, unique, and extraordinary experiences. You never know who will pull over, where the road will lead, and what adventures may unfold by saying yes. Will it be a lifelong friendship? An awkward hour? An illuminating conversation, generous offer of food or shelter? The highlight of a trip? Often each of those.
The road has provided so much. i've caught rides in everything from luxury tour buses, limousines, escalades with diplomats, tractors, camels, donkey drawn carriages, military humvees, the most rusted piece of shit cars (that shouldn't even be allowed on the road), semi trucks, motorcycles (many, many motorcycles). i've even hitched on bicycles, airplanes, and sailboats. Been invited to weddings, festivals, sporting events, funerals, lectures, camp outs, dinners, protests, and feasts. The more you lean in, and invite the unpredictable, the more life intervenes. Allowing space for real time deus ex machina. The cost of dancing with the impossible is perseverance, the prize is glorious adventure.
The operative word in hitch-hiking is hiking. No matter how fast the rides come, there will be considerable mileage on your shoes. It can take hours to find a good place to hitch. The further out of town, the higher your probability rises. A common question drivers ask is: 'what would happen if i hadn't picked you up, what would you have done?' My response is the truth, i'd keep walking, that reaching my destination is inevitable. Unless it's illegal to continue on foot, or i found the perfect place for cars to stop, i like to move. If it is safe enough i stroll down the road or highway in the correct direction with my thumb out to the side, sometimes stepping backwards. Like it or not you'll have to hike.
Few things have driven me as close to madness as an empty road. There's been more instances than i care to admit where i almost gave up, fell to my knees, curled over, and stopped. Without fail, everytime i picked myself up a ride would always arrive. Providence sits close beyond the horizon, and i find this a particularly helpful reminder in my day to day. Having the self knowledge of how far it takes for life to break you is invaluable. While you must succumb to the fates, you can never submit to your doubts. Let steadfast tenacity shape you. More than patience, and perseverance, forge yourself with a smile. No one wants to pick up a grump. All you have to do is surrender, and make the best conversation possible with whomever you're fortunate enough to sit beside.
Distinct, one-of-a-kind discussions with drivers are common. Outside of the normal hallmarks of getting to know other travellers, (their origins, destinations, familial situations, etc.) dialogues are quick to dive deep. There's something so disarming about strangers stuck together in a car. The difference between sharing space with a driver rather than placed next to a fellow passenger on an airplane or bus is dramatic. Defenses are down, and open minded acceptance blossoms. Both parties know the interaction is temporary. While there's always the possibilities of lies, there's also a rare opportunity for truth. A chance to share deeper secrets, emotions, frustrations, and opinions some might not feel comfortable speaking of around other company. And i'm here for it. i've been privy to such incredible, mind expanding exchanges, with so many unique, and wonderful people, that honoured has become too small of a word. One of the most beautiful things about hitchhiking is that there are a few predetermined agreements with each other. That there will be some kind of conversation. That there's a generosity, and openness that outweighs fear. We are strangers on a short journey together, both already open to one another, at least enough to move together.
When crossing continents encountering profound language barriers is inevitable. That said, there's always ways to communicate between hitchhikers and the gracious drivers. Body language, tone, charades, a pointer finger, and patience go miles. i've spent hours learning the names of farm animals, weather patterns, anything outside a window that drivers are game enough to teach. My favourite method is to make a cheat sheet with someone that is fluent in both languages and can translate phrases and pleasantries for me. i've learned to handwrite the notes myself, making sure to spell things in a phonetic way that makes sense to me. When i had no hope of pronunciation, i'd even cut up expressions on paper, with the correct characters on one side and their translations on the other, then would hand them over as needed. That didn't halt all miscommunication, many times people would assume i was deaf or nonverbal and try to write back to be me, but it did initiate dialogue, and at least get a laugh.
Stepping into stranger's car is unlike entering any other space. Whether intended or not, we project our personalities across those interiors more that we know. People's homes have easy facades, we dress things up for the perceived predictable perspectives of company. The house may have cleaners, or shared chores. Our homes reflect our values, what we strive for, but the cab of our vehicles tell the story of who we are. More often than you'd think, the insides of cars from those with spotless houses are complete disasters. Some keep their space pristine, wiping it, always maintaining a factory freshness, even in rental cars. There are people that think about every aspect of their space while they drive. It's ambience, it's temperature. Truck drivers who may dress like complete slobs tend to keep their cabs well organized, thorough with little convenient amenities, clean, and cozy. They showcase their pride, and care for themselves with keen attention to detail, and creature comforts.
There's no hints, no science to this, some people's spaces are exactly as you'd expect. Others may shock you- until you the conversations start. The insights are fascinating. You can't help but wear your emotions in the car. Feelings hang heavy when spaces are small. Drivers could be ecstatic, have had an awful day, irate or close to tears, it's all hard to hide.2 Everything telegraphs. How music sits is a great tell. They may be skipping and sifting through stations, listening to talk radio, soft rock, blasting heavy metal, or sitting in a thick, uncomfortable silence. As a passenger, the energy is a major component of the ride, something to adapt to, and harmonize with. Surfing each situation is all part of the adventure.
While stepping into these situations can be as fun as they are fascinating, it's important to pay attention, and never quiet the little warning voice in the back of your mind, or any of its nags. If something doesn't feel right, listen, your subconscious might be picking up on aspects that aren't obvious, but are important warnings. When you start to feel uncomfortable, see red flags, or hear any warning bells- get out. If the energy is wrong, don't despair, there will always be another car. Make an excuse, be self deprecating, lie, whatever you need to that won't offend or escalate things. Be firm.
i always give myself a beat or two to check my intuition before even entering a car. i've learned to take the lead, greet drivers with gratitude, and a question: "Thank you so much for stopping! Where are you headed?" while their window is down, or door open, before i commit. If you don't ask where they're going, there is no doubt they'll ask you, and you'll lose a brief advantage of information. That statement both initiates an understanding of respect and appreciation, as well as buys seconds to decide whether or not this ride is safe. If your thumb is out then you should more or less know where you are, and where you're heading. Let's say you're hitchhiking from Berlin to Paris, you should be orientated so the flow of traffic is heading west to France. By asking the driver their direction first there's room to "make a mistake." If something feels off you have the opportunity to say you're headed the opposite way, from where you've come from, "Oh no, i'm headed to Berlin!" Safe to decline, with no offensive to the driver, and no reason to elicit any aggressive behaviour. At worst you'll get a scowl and someone telling you're on the wrong side of the road.
While we still live in a world of unimaginable cruelty, and malicious violence, i do believe that the majority of the population is good. More afraid than ill-intended. There will always be horrible stories, and those rise to the top for good reason. Take warning, be cautious. That said, having hitched in over a hundred countries, the good outweighs the bad by an extreme amount.
Outside of the obvious dangers of getting into vehicles with strangers, there are some other glaring, ugly truths about hitchhiking. One common criticism is less about the act of hitching, and more of a deeper, and understandable point of disgust with society at large. There is a huge gap in safety between females and males on the road. It's not fair. There's no way around that fact. There is also an unbalanced level privilege between a tall caucasian male hitching to pretty much anyone else. Though (and, perhaps, this is naive) i must believe that this is changing, as our world blends, countries become more multicultural, and less homogenized.
Women often tell me that they wish they could travel as i do. They're completely right that things are unbalanced, and their precaution is more than understandable- it's advisable. That said, i've felt jealous of the numerous female hitchhikers i've met on the road, and not simply because of the speed, or frequency rides offered. There are benefits and hindrances that face each sex (not for one second will i pretend that they are equitable, only that they exist). One of the best techniques i learned for safety was from a woman hitchhiking home across Canada. Whenever a car pulled over, and it felt safe enough to join, she would always walk up to the front of the vehicle and snap a photo of the license plate with her cell (this is back in the days of flip phones). When she was in the car she would text someone her location. Drivers would inevitably ask what are she was doing. Her response was to explain she was texting her parents, brother, boyfriend or all three. Letting them know where she was going and where she'd be dropped off, and that quote, "that was the only way they felt comfortable with her on the road." It may not be many's ideal set of standards, but those more archaic structures are without a doubt stronger deterrents than a vague waiting "friend," in regards to safety. Today location services are another great option, though i'd still recommend the photo and texting. A clear signal, with upfront documentation. If you explain your intentions before you take the initial picture it gives you yet another opportunity to gauge the driver's reactions before you step in their car. My friend told me sometimes she wouldn't bother actually taking the image, but she always pretended to- even if she was about to join another woman, or family. She kept up the practice to always maintain at least the illusion of safety. Even if you never intend to hitchhike, it is important to take note how to do so safely. For whatever reason, there may be times where your thumbs are a better option than continuing with your current travel companions, or need to leave an area and don't have the means to do so. It's important to arm yourself with as much autonomy as possible, and being able to move safe is a huge asset.
While i have done that technique a few times, it's not my go to. However, i always tell drivers that i am heading to a destination where people that care about me are expecting me. Even when i was crossing continents, i was never without "a light" at the end of the tunnel. Often gushing how lucky i was to have them in my life, and how much we were looking forward to seeing each other. Reaffirming someone would notice if i went missing.
For everyone's sake, it's important to be mindful where you're dropped off from your ride. The majority of people that give lifts are good samaritans, not seasoned hitchhikers, and have rarely taken anyone along with them. Because of that they aren't always the most reliable for a good, or even safe, spot to let you out. This is a lesson i've learned time and time again. It's a kindness to be specific where, or what, an ideal place would look like. Highway service stations are a godsend for hitchhikers. These places have a high turnover of long distance travellers refueling, resting, then heading back on the road, and your probability for a ride is much higher. Recommended even if it means losing kilometres from a lift- it is always worth it to get out early. Don't let yourself step out on a busy or dangerous road. Communicate, understand how far you're being taken, then calculate accordingly. The last thing you want is to be stuck on some lonely street away from freeways and onramps, or worse, in town with a long walk back to somewhere suitable.
For female hitchers, getting dropped off at petrol or service stations can be paramount. They're well lit, have a lot of eyes, and are much safer than deserted areas. Best of all you don't have to rely on throwing out thumbs to get a ride. There's an opportunity to approach drivers. This is a huge advantage compared to the shoulders of the road. Both parties can check the vibe, and, especially for women, there's full control of who you interact with. While men will only have moderate success with this technique, i've seen women fly (literally sat for hours trying to get a ride and saw a pair of women leave one car, and scoop their next ride in under ten minutes. Not even once, i've seen it multiple times across Europe). Most people don't want to interact with a strange man (and fair enough). Women however, are welcome to engage with families and other women, people that would normally be opposed to letting a hitchhiker join their journey. This is where the sisterhood becomes so impressive, aid, and goodwill comes out of the woodwork. i've met many female hitchhikers that will exclusively hitch with people they approach, and are strict about only getting in and out of cars at service areas.
First impressions matter. As uncomfortable as the Sun may be, it's important not to wear sunglasses, or ratty clothing. Let drivers see your eyes. While The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy may be a comical masterpiece, Douglas Adams still managed to code in sage truths. His rule of always carrying a towel (as it gives the impression that you've had a recent shower and don't smell) holds a lot of weight3. For god's sake, wash. Collared shirts are helpful. Try to look not threatening as well as presentable. Signs can be an asset, destinations work for some, jokes for others (but most times, people don't bother to read them). Keep your bag up front so driver's recognize that you're a traveler. Do your best to bring them comfort before they've pulled over. Answer questions they've not yet had a chance to ask. It's nice to know that someone's put together and making an effort. Clear signals that you're on an adventure (rucksacks, signs, instruments), help quell suspicions that you may be a criminal on the run.
Prepare for the worst. Bring rain gear, a sleeping bag, a mat, a water bottle (i never travel without my life straw when i'm abroad), lightweight hammocks are life savers, sharpies (for signs), a hat, sunscreen, and most importantly, a book. Headphones might seem ideal but i'm cautious with them. Your safety matters and you don't want to draw attention to anything that someone might want to take. Instruments are fun, costumes can be even more so (i spent years hitchhiking with a Banana suit). Unless the weather calls for it, don't bring a winter jacket, but do bring some kind of shell, and layers or a hoodie for the wind, and potential drizzles. Tents are tempting but bring a lot of scrutiny, take time to disassemble, and obstruct your vision while sleeping. Only take what you need. Do your best to keep things light, drivers will be turned off by a lot of bags, and don't forget you'll carrying it all for long hikes!
Remember to smile. You're free. Free to say Yes or No as you choose. Start your day when you like, walk on, turn around, jump in, take a break. Every time you don't raise your thumb an opportunity passes. Your only limitation is your imagination. From interstates to dirt roads, winding single-laned mountain switchbacks, motorcycles, tourist buses, sports cars, police cars, semi-trucks, no roads or vehicles are unhitchable. Even oceans are options. Every wave a new path, every heading a possibility. Beyond your overall direction, or an ideal destination in mind, relinquish choice. You must divide the river of life. Rely on your wit, and intuition. Leave sooner than you think is necessary, give not only yourself, but the fates, time to steer you to providence. Stay safe, stay smart, trust your gut, don't let yourself be pressured. You are defined by your will, the road cares for nothing else. There is no better time than now, the only question is to where?
Thanks for reading!!!
Did that peak your interest? There’s ton’s of stories from the road in the Know Thyself section, be sure to check them out!
My first time hitching: And So It Berlins Part 1
Scandinavia: Solstice Synchronicities and the Highway to Hell
Brazil: Wild Flamengos
France: Dirt Bag Advice
BC: Hope
-Mr Write
Were you offended by the title? Fantastic, you know an alleged history of the saying. Some believe that , “Rules of Thumb” originated as a measurement for domestic abuse and control. That a husband could beat his wife with a stick no wider than his thumb. Dark, horrible. There’s plenty of evidence that this origin is false, that it’s use even in that context was adjusted from a rough measurement that millers, and sailors use. But, because a large portion of people assume that the phrase has this horrendous etymology let’s move forth as if it did. Many words/colloquialisms transform, whether we like it or not. Somewhere in the last century it changed to common phrasing. While it's important to know our histories, it's also important to live in the now, and give credence and passage to nuance and context. Does this paper in anyway encourage or haphazardly celebrate the alleged historical context of the phrase? Absolutely not. The intention is to embrace the innocence i had discussing the philosophies of hitchhiking and adventure with a friend in the early aughts (the same young man i travelled to Hope with), and wanting to start a blog with that title documenting our adventures. With an innocent understanding of the phrase as measurement we thought our word play clever, and i would like to honour that purity still. Embedded in the text is a guide for all sexes to hitchhike, and move freely across our world. The intention is for all to look down at our hands and see liberty in our grasp, a key to wander with our thumbs- not to point fingers at one another. i hope the ideas, sentiments, and sentences move you, both in spirit and body, should you choose to throw yourself to the fates. If you read forth i applaud for challenging preconceptions, if they were indeed negative approaching this piece. If you still feel the title is ignorant, and worthy of the wrath of your pen, well i encourage you to contact me through the site, or via email at mrwriteoff@gmail.com and air your grievances with me directly. Moving a head of the curve, this is not meant to devalue anyones experiences, rather to gently lead them to a happier existence together. Perhaps i will fail, as i'm sure to in many essays going forth, though i will not hinder myself from trying to do something positive with fear of anyone’s reactions. i appreciate you dear reader, with all sincerity hope you find something here that moves you.
“More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have "lost." What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.”
-Douglas Adams, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy